When you make a woman feel sexually attracted to you, she will naturally like you more than a friend. I get the worry, but from his side I also get how frustrating that would be. … Pretty much, enjoy your friend's company, but don't compare yourself to them because all it causes is mental distress, and no one likes that. If you trust him, let it go. My boyfriend has more female friends than male friends. My boyfriend has a girl best friend. Maybe he's depressed, maybe he's really anxious, maybe he is insecure about something you're not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and he all of a sudden started spending way more time with them than me. There's no other way to put this other than you need to drop those views. I have a same friend, but i think you look too much at his upsides. I'd never put myself in a position where my wife has to worry like that. Sometimes I get this feeling. Plus they found things in me that I didn't know I had and loved me for it. Still, he hung out with Sherlock Holmes; A man with no paying job and no friends. Does your gf know the people you go out with? I think that changes things. They're not inviting their boyfriends". Last night, our conversation was quite dull so I looked up “21 questions to ask your boyfriend” on the internet. In states that allow it, it’s actually a common law marriage. I've grown out of my college habits, as have most women my age. You can have multiple best friends. We've all got problems, not matter what reality makes it seem. He uses more of a filter. It’s weird you’re being left out. Is it normal to feel jealous over his female friends even though I trust him? I feel very uncomfortable with this however he says they're just friends I don't have to worry. If you radiate confidence and happiness, good thing will come your way:-) Keep working on yourself ofcourse, but don't compare yourself too much with others! You just need to see him as a successful person and aspire to be like him instead of being jealous and sour about his success, if anything at least be happy for him. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Live your life relative to no man; only then can you find true happiness. For me it's a deal breaker. So, I've been dating on and off for nearly two years. Attractiveness depends on the attracted (even if we can all agree on Bey and Fassy) so there is no objective “better looking than me” that matters in a relationship. Dear Demetria: I approached my boyfriend about why he’s always texting my best friend. Only if you both hold yourselves out publicly to being married. Social wise, it's achievable. This is nothing to lose a friend over, so try and handle it the best you can. He replied to be saying that "it's a friends thing. They're friends. My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He should be inviting you along. Just play it by its face value and be confident! As our friendships grew I found they had issues that I could never even fathom them having. He isn't winning. Also, 7 years is a pretty hefty relationship. You are not in a race with your friend. They would not invite him to a dinner party without me being invited. He gets better grades, succeeds socially, and generally has a better life than me. John Watson had brilliant credentials, a respected past, a promising career, he succeeded socially and had many friends. You got it! That shit is something that the assholes have brainwashed you into believing. Things that I thought were beyond me. Right now you see him as competition or as a threat, you need to drop those views of him. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My friend has a good looking girlfriend, has an apprenticeship as an electrician, a really nice nissan altima, and is going to school. We're still really good friends. My friend has a good looking girlfriend, has an apprenticeship as an electrician, a really nice nissan altima, and is going to school. Remember this man, you have a cool best friend who enjoys your company. My boyfriend and I have been dating 4 years. Do that. It's so much easier to stay in and watch that and your Netflix recommended watch list with your favorite takeout. He said I can't come because it isn't his party so he doesn't want to add a plus on without being asked. If you want him to respect you more, then when he wants to hang out for a couple of hours to "mess around" don't mess around with him. In high school probably 60% of my friends were girls. Self-Defeat. And while she's there she'd likely be on "high alert" anyway, which would just ruin the entire thing for me, personally. Well, unfortunately for anyone who was actually genuinely concerned about the probability of this, a new study found that your boyfriend does, in fact, love his friends more than he loves you. How do you fully love and respect a guy who isn't ambitious about work, school, or anything important in life? If your boyfriend would rather be with his friends instead of you, there is no need to despair. You are not competing with your friend, you're only competing with yourself. Just as he would not invite them to our home without extending an invitation to their significant others. would get a little overbearing. It's easier said than done, but when you stop comparing yourselves to others it feels so nice. Here’s the thing though: I trust him with all of my heart and I have never had a reason to suspect any foul play. I work part-time at a grocery store and play video games. i feel really stupid when he has all his friends back and wanting to hang … Tom, 27, first noticed that his friendships were skewing womanward in college. Think about it, we all have different types of friends, and do different things with them. So when my girlfriend goes out with her friends (some male, some female) without me, because they're her friends and not my friends, this is a big deal? The thing is, … No. And if you really think you can trust him, ask him for some guidance in bettering yourself. What should I do? I c** hard and loud. It apparently means that your best friend is better than your girlfriend. I get wishing to go, but I also get his side where he wants to spend time with his friends. If you and your friend get along well, and he's totally fine with the way you are, stop comparing yourself to him. Overall, the majority of men I spent my time dating were lovely. You don't seem to be having the feelings a friend would. Girl/boy it doesn't affect it assuming he's truthful about it, and she seems to think he is so I'm missing the problem everyone sees here. It’s call being courteous. measure yourself against your own progress. But mid last year I took his phone and to my surprise he was bragging to his cousin how he has fucked 4 of my girls. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. Focus on YOUR future, and let their lives take place. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. If we're talking about just simple selfish jealousy, it's simple selfish jealousy. He's doing something to be proud of based on his upbringing, and I'm proud of how far I've come based on mine. How can I not give a fuck about this? Since then, he’s found it even more difficult to make male friends. Need help with your relationship? TUESDAY, DAY 7 Nick had had to get up at 3:45 a.m. that morning for work, and when I called him at 10, he was already asleep. and i just lost all of mine. So if your boyfriend has a female best friend, you might want to be careful and you might want to keep an eye on that. He stated that they are “friends” and they connect well when talking and he … You will never ever be the best in any aspect of your life compared to the billions of other people on the planet. I could be more open with them and we helped each other grow. I don't blame you for being uncomfortable, but it's really boring hanging out with someone else's work friends. He displays our relationship for the world to see and I love him more each and every day. My best friend for the last 7 years is fucking killing me. I think if you were his priority, he’d make that clear. almost all of them went back to our home country. Your friend looks like he's got it all made on the outside, but think about it when you don't seem him. Quit being and child and celebrate your friend's success. You be you, and let everyone else be themselves. You're going to have real problems in your adult life. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. A mutual friend joked that she probably spent more time in hotel rooms than in her own bedroom when she was younger. I dont give a shit if he's doing better than me, and he's never cared about me doing less than him. I’m a guy and I have quite a lot of female friends and my girlfriend is fine with it. Who is to say one group does it better than the other? Does he actually make you feel bad about yourself? However, that being said, if you’ve been dating for a long period of time and you are not being included in holiday activities that is strange to me. If your boyfriend is having a mental breakdown, over time he may begin to show signs of self-harm both mentally and physically. He also has his problems and maybe is jealous of you for other things. When you put yourself out there, and get to know people, you'll be surprised at the connections you'll make and how one thing leads to another. Meanwhile, men can be a bit more of lone rangers and it doesn’t seem to bother them much. Sure, you don't want to be ridiculous and unfair, but the truth is that it's not super normal for a guy to have a best friend who's a girl. I was going through what you were going through, always comparing myself to my friends and peers saying "why not me" the phrase at the tip helped me amazingly. I fell asleep feeling more awkward than giddy. Do YOUR best. My bf won't be attending this year and there is nothing wrong with that. Since we go to different colleges we've been long distance for the last 2.5 years and get by on weekly skype calls, some text messages, and occasional visits in the summers and such. 7. Like /u/veritable_vagina said, you are in the perfect position to learn from your best friend and implement some of what he does into your own life. Bring your own flavor into the mix and remember, the only time you should be looking in your neighbors bowl is to make sure they have enough. Okay I’ll preface by saying, if it’s the female part of their friendship that bothers you than you probably don’t trust him. Press J to jump to the feed. Stop worrying about your friend. And he used to stay at my place. Worry about making yourself even awesomer. While your best friend doesn’t even care about that. Matter of fact, he spends more time with that than he does with me. Opposite sex doesn't just mean it's going to get sexual - and taking your girlfriend to everything with them (they're not just girls for this friendsgiving, they're his friends and they're girls ALWAYS, so where does it end?) Him not bothering to ask suggests to me that he'd rather you not be there. All this is fine until those men get into relationships with women who have tons of friends. He probably has more female friends than I do, which is pretty sad. There is a ton more requirements to common law marriage than just being in a relationship or living together. Cherish each friendship and appreciate the people around you. When you do your life will become so much better. I'm also an extremely competitive person and that may not work if you aren't, idk. I'm pretty much 100% sure none of them had feelings for me, and although I thought some of them were attractive, I never tried anything. In the end, you'll be known as that guy that was a genuine dude. I surround myself with these kinds of people (the type who don't make me feel bad) because yeah, it is inspiring and motivating. If you "trust him" it's not an issue. The friend starts sucking my t*** while my boyfriend is bringing me to a climax. I want to stay friends with him, but being around him makes me feel bad about myself and my life. Tell him you want to have a relationship, and not be a piece for him to come andget whenever he wants. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It truly is all about not giving a fuck. Of course not. For me our compromise was mixed parties I get the option of going, we are a package deal. The major thing is don’t overthink it! It makes me really uneasy that he is going to the city every other night with just guys and not me. He isn't ambitious or interested in a future, career, goals or even more than a part-time job. Also remember when you are comparing yourself to other you are comparing your full life to the "highlight reel" of your comparables. I don’t trust her any more, as this sounds to me like someone else, not my wife. Anyway, my point: beauty is way more subjective than it’s usually considered to be, and waaaay more subjective when it comes to the wanting and kissing and sexing kind of stuff. Q: For the past couple of months, my boyfriend has been really into "guys' night." What exactly is social success? My significant other has a lot of friends of the opposite sex and they are all aware of who I am. You told him how you feel, he has told you how he feels, compromise or decide that you two have a grave incompatablility. However I think that if he does want to go out with them and there are no guys there I should be invited. In fact, I'd say that is totally natural. He's always been smarter than me. He grew up with mostly women and claims that he feels more comfortable with woman.I trust him and I know he wouldn't cheat on me however as his girlfriend I still feel very uncomfortable with this. Except when I found out one of his girl friends dropped off cookies at Christmas and I had a weird feeling about it. Our relationship is the longest he has been in, and we have a five-month-old daughter. His GPA is like a fucking 96 (4.0), he has the HOTTEST girlfriend, he's fucking jacked, everyone fucking loves him and it sucks. And if you're not happy with the way yours is, do something about it. How To Not Give A Fuck is the paradoxical problem-free philosophy challenging you to fearless experimentation and self-discovery. It is, however, suspicious of he didn't ask about you going. My boyfriend who I have been dating for 7 years has too many female friends. That aside, just be yourself and be proud and happy of who you are my friend. Yeah its way better than having jerk of friends that aren't worth you're time. There's no reason why he can't simply ask if it's alright for you to go, too. I he gets mad, let him. We should be helping them and they should be helping us. I'm very upset about this because I don't know these women and I don't want him at a party with exclusively 4 women.