Hunh. Maybe...”Butt Stallion”? I’m gonna be real busy mining Eridium to charge that Vault Key I stole from your buddy Tannis, so you guys are gonna be low on my priority list for a while. You do them because they’re right-- You know what book I'm reading in that image? I've got a perfect spot all picked out for ya. -Handsome Jack, Borderlands – “You see, this is what I don’t get about you bad guys: You know the hero’s gonna win, but you don’t just die quickly. I, Handsome Jack, have heard your complaints that we cannot finish the city by our projected date five months from now. You know the hero's gonna win, but you just don't die quickly. So I just scoop out his eyeballs with it and his kids are like, 'waaah', he can't see where he's going, bumping into stuff, maybe you just had to be there. This is where it all ends. Quote: “Sometimes an alien is just an alien.” Matter falls into the scruffy bad boy category of Hallmark leads (as opposed to, say, Jesse Hutch , who is the scruffy cuddly woodsman type). I can’t die like this... not when I’m so close... and not at the hands of a filthy bandit! But just -- one second. RELATED: Borderlands: The 10 Worst Things Handsome Jack Has Done. They couldn’t protect New Haven, they couldn’t protect Fyrestone, and they’re sure as hell not gonna protect Sanctuary. But I could. All the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers, 10 Things We Wish We Knew Before Starting A Way Out, Handsome Jack’s 15 Best Quotes In Borderlands 2, we're crossing our fingers for some news about Borderlands 4, a villain who fancies himself a savior of Pandora, Borderlands 1 And 2 Playable Classes, Ranked, He lost his wife, felt responsible for his daughter, Borderlands: The 10 Worst Things Handsome Jack Has Done, Borderlands 2: 10 Facts You Never Knew About Handsome Jack, Persona 5: The 7 Biggest Differences Between The Game And Anime, Halo: The 10 Biggest Plot Holes In The Series (So Far), 6 Fallout 5 Fan Theories That Could Definitely Happen, Konami's 10 Biggest Franchises (And Who Should Buy Them), 10 Best Open-World Games That Are Not RPGs, 10 Things You Didn't Know About The Story Of Bloodborne, Pokemon: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Lucario, Cyberpunk 2077: 10 Areas You Should Visit Immediately, 10 Battle Royale Games To Play Instead Of Fortnite, Civilization 6: 10 Best Nuclear Ghandi Memes That Are Too Funny, Minecraft: 10 Terrifying Details About Herobrine, Pokémon Let’s Go: Where To Find The Rarest Pokémon, Genshin Impact: 10 Best Bosses (Based On Rewards Dropped), Everything You Need To Know About Skyrim Together, 15 Games To Play If You Love Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, God of War: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Atreus. I hate those "mysterious warrior" types. No No no. You're not going anywhere, bandit. Didja know your chances of being disemboweled increase by eight thousand percent upon leaving Opportunity? And that's how Handsome Jack pays ransoms! I want that warrior, Angel. Synergy. I'm holding the Vault Key, and a BABY. Fire! Wilhelm? I’m gonna kill them all. At the same time, it's one of the few moments in the game in which you actually get to push his buttons a bit, as underneath his mocking is a sense of aggravation. Vault hunters: I need your help. Learned a lot about survival. He manages to be completely over-the-top evil while at the same time being the most likeable character in the game. Dec 26, 2016 - Explore Todd Sieren's board "BORDERLANDS", followed by 272 people on Pinterest. He’s still really dead. Dynamicism. You should also check this article's talk page to see if the person who added this message left an explanation there. It's almost as funny as the spoon guy, and that's saying something. But if you want a huge reward, you jump off that cliff and become my bitch. Okay. If not, you also oughtta know complaining about Opportunity's laws is considered verbal littering. What's a bandit? Words come in and out of vogue, and 90 years down the road, the words that you heard (or saw on social media) several times a day could very well have gone the … Yeah? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, yadda, yadda, yadda… This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, A FRICKIN’ SPOON! Electricity! (sigh) Sometimes I envy you bandits -- you’re so...unburdened with things like intelligence, culture, morality, honor, ambition, good looks...I could go on. [quote] The company has used the Cherokee name for more than 45 years, including for two current SUVs. Spoon Part 1 is an audio clip, sound button, sound meme used to enhance any moment! Specifically, one named Lilith. Angel, you've got a brain the size of a planet. Was that your shields that just went down? Heyyyy, everybody! This is your new home, darling. Below is an alphabetical list of widely used and repeated proverbial phrases. If we're especially lucky, there might even be something about everyone's favorite villain. I've already got a great idea for a new statue. This guy rushes me with a spoon. Get in the chair. In fact, he's killed people enough that he's apparently gotten a bit of a taste for it, which is the last thing you want to find out when you're on the way to a boss battle. Call us! Go ahead. So, the vault hunter met the slabs -- what a lovely opportunity to kill two bandits with one mortar assault! -- No! I need you to stay calm and don't let on that anyone is talking to you. PAFC_1870 Brownlow Medallist. Angel…I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. Anyway, I hear you and the rest of your little buddies have relocated to Sanctuary. Great. Head back to the bounty board and I'll pay you. And annoying the Vault hunters is something that Jack certainly prides himself on during the games, even if his one-liners are very snappy. THAT's the bunker. And I’ll enjoy it even more because -- ah, I shouldn’t say anymore. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. You can’t hurt me! You barely even scratched my warrior! I learned no matter how badass they may be, anyone will happily lay down their life for a pretty girl, with big, blue eyes. I should probably clarify -- the diamond horse I’ve been telling you about? We ripped it outta her broken fingers. That is why you don’t screw with me. WOMEN, am I right? See, you're not at the bunker right now. from $ 29.99. High-five. Because you’re as lacking in vision as you are in brain cells. Wickedly Handsome Cool Halloween. The Warrior was practically a god. (rage) Run all you want, bandit. Ya know, I assume you’re saying this because most of you didn’t see what Pandora looked like before we showed up. …That's…actually kinda pissing me off. Hey, how about that! Moments like reinforces the notion of Jack being that villain we "love to hate," and demonstrates the zany nature of Borderlands 2. It's fitting that doing some damage to a symbol of his ego is one of the few times Jack seems rattled, even if it's for "like 8 seconds," as he claims. Angel! from $ 29.99. Please don’t kill my little girl. Woah --Run that by me again? It's not a sculpture, or anything. You don’t stand a chance against my warrior! Karen McDougal Man Handsome Me A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. You’re too late, bandit... Diamond Monarch. Who else you got-- Top 10 Handsome Jack quotes: 10. When I cleaned up the frontier and burned the bandit settlement of New Haven to the ground, it was a Hyperion pistol I held in my fist. Bandits will look up from their baby-meat stew and see our city shining in the distance. I was lying about the last part, by the way. Did you…actually just kill my girlfriend? Way funnier. What is this even ACCOMPLISHING? Kill the goddamn vault hunter already! I can't hear what you're saying over the motor of this free blowjob machine Jack gave all of us." Create the best meme sounds and soundboards using Blerp. Consider this your final warning -- no, consider this MY final warning. Hell -- that’s a start. Was that your goal? ... Screw you, it woulda been funny if I’d had it earlier. Sweetheart, everything you could ever want is within these four walls! He is capable of threatening, charming, lying and panhandling all in the same breath, and so it's no surprise that even the best of us can get carried away listening to him. Heads up, bandit! when handsome jack mocks bloodwings death by poorly playing a banjo. Since Jack spends a lot of time monologuing, we learn a lot about his backstory which helps to explain (if not excuse) his control-freak nature. About greed. Not now! “… the moral of the story is, you’re a total b*tch.” Matrixneo42 (Matrixneo42) February 25, 2015, 4:19pm #28 You get a bandit gun, they can’t even spell “pistol” right. Pleasure doin' business with you. Though there's information that contradicts this, and it's speculated that Jack in fact killed her while blaming it on Angel. Haven't felt that in such a long time. Good for you. I guess you just killed yourself. Angel -- are we hearing this live, right now? A flying city? Literally nothing! Hey, remember that wife of yours? One of my favorites: "...So people are dying left and right and all of sudden this guy decides to run at me with a spoon. Say goodbye to your friend. Because I was right, you mean. What is it? Hey, Roland. So enjoy it while you can. It’s feeding time. I can’t say for sure, Keith, but I’m loathe to take advice on children from someone who doesn’t have any. from $ 22.99. English. Feel that? I love the way you vault hunters just up and trusted Angel. So quit it! Women's V-Neck T-Shirt. Class, sweetheart. 15% off everything Sale ends in: 07: 28: 16 Redeem Code Now Coupon code active. Beauty. That’s right, murderer. Unlike most in our list, this line comes from the episodic adventure title, Tales from the Borderlands. This is a song for Mordecai’s stupid bird. Just in case you needed a reminder, Handsome Jack kills people. But if you're dead, you're up to nothing at all — and that won't do for him. Citizens of Opportunity! EVERYTHING. Don’t you think Pandora would be better without their scum? During this graphic tale, Jack describes how he tortures the man in front of his kids with a spoon after he charged at Jack with the utensil. Five years ago, Roland and his friends opened the Vault because Angel and I tricked them into doing it. Standard Poodle Daisy (12/13); Greys Hildy (Braska Hildy 7/10), Ivy (Jax Isis 10/07), Toodles (BL Toodles 7/09), Opal (Jax Opal 7/08) Missing Cora (RL Nevada 5/99-10/09), Piper (Cee Bar Easy 2/99-1/10), Tally (Thunder La La 9/99-3/10), Edie (Daring Reva 9/99-10/12), Dixie (Kiowa Secret Sue 11/01-1/13), Jessie (P's Real Time 11/98-3/13), token boy Graham (Zydeco Dancer 9/00-5/13), … I know -- "argh, trap, don't listen" -- but it's about my grandma. Why isn't this working, Angel? Haaaaaaandsome Jack here. What the hell are you doing, Angel?! That's the sound of progress, baby! Don’t let ‘em shoot you there, goddammit! No matter what happens, make sure that old bandit town -- Fyrestone, I think it’s called -- make sure it stays standing. Forum » General Discussion / Games and Hobbies » Favorite video game quotes? And every day, as I watch over this planet, as its protector, as its champion, as its hero, it’s Hyperion firearms I put my trust in. My day? She never really new about him till she got the job. Borderlands 2's resident sociopathic villain, Handsome Jack, just might be one of the most interesting, enduring characters in modern gaming. Choking is what you do what you eat too fast, and what he's currently doing is strangulation. Ahhh. When you look at the names of those guns, you feel like a dumbass. Of course you don’t. (beat) “Condescend” is a word that means “talk down to.” You got that, kitten? Did you know that some people on this planet still believe in silly superstitions like angels, demons, and ancient alien warriors? A world without hate, or violence. NOW. (beat) I told you, I always win. But -- psst -- spoilers: I did. Related: Borderlands 1 And 2 Playable Classes, Ranked. You're one of those conspiracy theorists. Angel? Oh, no you don't! Bloodwing. Well done! But Ron Burgundy has a beautiful, black boss (Meagan Good) at GNN, … (beat.) Handsome Jack Quotes - Hello friend Meow Meow, In the article that you read this time with the title Handsome Jack Quotes, we have prepared this article well for you to read and take information in it. Be honest with yourself, kid. And, in fairness, it was being a dick. Vault Hunter gets killed. We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead. It's time for you to realize just how wrong you were. Spoon Part 3 is an audio clip, sound button, sound meme used to enhance any moment! 8. 10. 10. I’m afraid you’re not gonna like this area all that much -- it’s about knowledge. Okay, so I already liked Handsome Jack as a character, but his story about the spoon-wielding guy in New Haven solidified him as an awesome villain. Angel, you can STOP this! And we beat her for hours. Hhhhhhhahahahahaha! Finally, the Mrs. Doubtfire script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Robin Williams and Sally Field. I'm already impressed. Nah, probably not. I turn around for a single second and now they’re on the ground No, it’s the raiders. What are you doing now, tool? Handsome Jack is the main antagonist of both Borderlands 2, Tales from the Borderlands and the deuteragonist of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. Actually, no it isn't. It was a dry, dusty pisshole where dreams went to die. Oh, Jesus. I built her a cottage out in the Eridium Blight, and I need you to check on her, make sure everything's as it should be. WHY?! (This should sound like a shrug -- like, say "I dunno" without any consonants) Don’t you dare speak about my daughter. 30-day Return Guarantee Get your favorite Handsome Jack design today! Want Bloodwing back, huh? Mine is “I'm racking my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. Dignity! You can't come straight for me, you gotta kill an innocent girl? http://orcz.com/index.php?title=Borderlands_2:_Handsome_Jack_Quotes&oldid=383065. A Siren. from $ 29.99. The Anchorman movie is extremely racist. Bravo. But murdering your Vault Hunter pals? Look at those murderous Bloodshots. Unisex Super Soft T-Shirt. (beat) You’ve been warned, the kid gloves are coming off. Long time no see, Roland. Create the best meme sounds and soundboards using Blerp. ^^~~~~~ What happened? I’m sending a figure to the moon projector...now. EXPLOSIIIIVE! Of course, if Roland hadn’t been such a dumbass in the first place, he -- whoops. (beat) You didn’t follow the rules, bandit. Easy, Butt Stallion. Handsome Jack Spoon png. The main badguy, Handsome Jack, taunts you through the whole game with these silly anecdotes. Come on, how hard is it to wipe out one vault hunter and a walking slab of meat? Just wanted to congratulate ya – you’ve successfully delayed your deaths by a few months. If that means I’ve gotta kill bandits like you, like the Bloodshots -- like all those Crimson Raider idiots in Sanctuary? I’m not dyin’ yet! am I-- am I brilliant? You know, I think it’s finally time to tell you that little secret. Blake! You think about that the next time you’re sleeping in your own filth. Near the finale of the game, Rhys, one of the protagonists informs Jack that “he’s his hero, but he has to shut him down.” Hm. Best Handsome Jack quotes? Hi there! Purity. I wasn't supposed to die... by the hands... of a CHILD-KILLING PSYCHOPATH! See what Cynical Lion (CynicalLion555) has discovered on Pinterest, the world's biggest collection of ideas. Kida Stars is the new “Helper” around Handsome Jack’s office. This page has been listed as needing cleanup since 2008-12-13. Lemme explain something. This world is gonna end! 15% off everything Sale ends in: 07: 15: 47 Redeem Code Now Coupon code active. What’s that saying? That's cute. I bet you think I’m a monster. (Sigh.) ! It demonstrates just how sincerely he believed to be saving the world by unleashing The Warrior and wiping out the Bandits. It gives some insight into his sense of cynicism and self-awareness — though it further drives home the point of Jack feeling like the "hero.". You cannot -- I repeat, CANNOT win a fight with them in one on one combat. Oh, I’m sorry. This is interesting technology. You just need to kill what he loves. I Could Have Actually Restored Order! " Yes, sir – I'm sorry, Mister Tassiter, it won't happen again! Smash ‘em! 4 Likes. You know what babies are, right? You killed the bandits? So without further ado, let's go Vault hunting and examine some of Handsome Jack's very best quotes. You killed yourself because I paid you to. Welcome to Pandora, kiddos. Sure, he might be making it clear that he's coming in on the offensive, but he also has the air of a deeply anxious man who feels he has a lot to prove. I’m rackin' my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. Littering is punishable by death. DIE! No more dangerous creatures! (beat.) So, Wilhelm nearly killed your Vault Hunter friends a couple years ago, and you just blow him away like any other grunt? Not in an angry, mean-spirited way. Dec 31, 2012 ... AFL 2020: Predicted ladder, AFL predictions, minor premier, wooden spoon, top eight, expert 2020 season predictions The AFL season is a day away - theoretically, anyway. Hey, you know how I got my hands on that Vault Key? Kay, bye. City's burning, people dying, blah blah blah. Remember: we should all love our parents, but love me more. Am I -- am I right? My men kicked your bandit asses out of New Haven and killed your little pal Lilith. You're one-of-a-kind, now make it work! She's not coming back, Angel. I’ve got a surprise waiting for you at the end of the preserve. You’re a maniac! And I...am the goddamn hero. The Pre-Sequel goes into Jack's motivations a little bit more than Borderlands 2, and it's only really once you've played it that you realize just how striking this little line of dialogue is. Success. (Beat.) Nobody destroys my beacons -- here come the bots, bandit! But Ron Burgundy has a beautiful, black boss (Meagan Good) at GNN, the 24-hour news channel he agrees to … (beat) Y’know, I heard the Firehawk liquifies bandits and drinks ‘em like flesh smoothies. from $ 22.99. During the mission Best Minion Ever and just before the diamond pony line, Jack chimes in out of nowhere, chewing on a crunchy snack, before proclaiming "these pretzels suck!" Every planet, every star. No matter what happens, or has happened -- you could have killed me by the time you're hearing this, who knows -- I just want you to remember one thing: you are a sellout. Audio recordings and a televised broadcast of the Broadway play helped to popularize it, and it was adapted into a filmed … HUH? The Anchorman movie is extremely racist. Angel, double power to the defenses. Carlton - Were behind when the final siren sounded ... Schulzenfest, Handsome_Jack and 1 other person. Call me old-fashioned, but -- bein’ a god sounds like a hell of a lot of fun. Woah woah woah -- you didn’t think you’re getting out of here ALIVE, did you? I’m talking style. Call us! I’m gonna spend a lowng time torturing you bandit scum to death. I want those bastards dead now! You’re gonna be like, “oh no, I'm bleeding so much, so much blood, ahhhh!” (laugh-sighing) It's gonna be great. (sarcastic) Wow. Jump to content. (taking out his pocketwatch, sighing) Mister Tassiter, do you know the difference between choking and strangulation? This quote from early on in Borderlands 2 might be a bit on the nose, but there's something enduring about how upfront he is with his sense of righteousness. You made your point. And I'm dying laughing… so many more. I’m sending everything I have at you. I'll let you borrow it sometime. And while you'd think these attributes would clash — with Jack, it just... works somehow. Somethin' you got in common. "What's that saying? As I'm crushing Mister Moorin's windpipe with my watch chain, what I'm doing is strangling. Lilith’s nearly charged the Vault Key -- how you feeling, babe? Almost forgot to mention dignity. Once you’ve earned it. Women's V-Neck T-Shirt. I'm the damn hero. Well, Ms. Pierce -- and please don't break my heart and tell me it's missus Pierce -- this train doesn't belong to you. Y'see, this is what I don't get about you bad guys. Favorite handsome jack quote. Murdered. Start making your way off the bus. The Warrior’s mine, bandit! Don’t keep me waiting. 11. Like Quote Reply. Fire! Say this to 'em: Don't be alarmed. I look a little too badass with my foot on that bandit's face, and you're jealous. What do you think, Lil? Butt Stallion says hello. The experiments you'll be put through will help us uncover new uses for Eridium, new cures for medicine, and...why are you having me read this crap? Sweet, sweet. But Lilith? So just turn 'em in to me, and you'll be rewarded. (angry) But I swear, you take one more step, every soul back in Sanctuary will die staring at their own lungs as I rip them from their chests. although the spoon story, while amusing, just shows how wild and crazy the people of Pandora are. Ciao! Get back into the lava! He has taken over the Hyperion corporation, declared himself dictator of Pandora, and stolen all of the credit for finding The Vault, going so far as to claim responsibility for killing The Destroyer. Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whomever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liar’s Berg. And you know what now I don't even have to pay 'em! handsome jack spoon story when you first enter the highlands. I, Handsome Jack, am [moderately happy] to welcome you into the Hyperion family! Started by: Synny Date: 18 Feb 2020 18:26 Number of posts: 86 RSS: New posts Unfold All Fold All More Options Now do me a favor and put this Axton guy on the list, will you? Yeah, I just realized you grunts are gonna get yourselves killed without this little tidbit: all Sirens are born with different, crazy-ass powers. I mean, I don't wanna rub it in, or anything, but...damn. Did you know you're staring at the future site of the Opportunity pleasure palace? This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, A FRICKIN' SPOON! Kill, goddammit! Corrosion...yeah, I remember that one -- come on, what's left? According to Peppy Slapbiscuit, he is told by all the ladies that he has an Ugly Mug. Angel, NO! Oh, and stop contacting us with questions regarding the bounty on the freak known as “Lilith.” The fugitive was confirmed dead months ago, alright? [quote] Jeep said it is “committed to a respectful and open dialogue with Cherokee Nation” and Hoskin. No problems, I'm assuming? (beat) I’m told it’s agonizing. Players must purchase a Handsome Mug from Sofia Amalgam in Avant Gardens and give it to Peppy, who feels good-looking once in possession of the cup. You don’t do things because they’re easy. But -- psst -- spoilers: I did. Petty vandalism? "-Handsome Jack. Attention, people of Pandora! This is a message from Handsome Jack, to the construction workers of Opportunity.