In the Ultra-Orthodox/Hasidic community, boys will traditionally get married between 21 and 25 years of age, after they’ve finished their education at a Yeshiva (basically a seminary). where secular classes are closely supervised to ensure that the pupils Those hired for secular studies—virtually all are He presented me with a beautiful pearl necklace. influences and contributing to the maintenance of their particular The woman who inspired Netflix hit “Unorthodox” has revealed that she was forced to sell her eggs to make some quick cash after fleeing Williamsburg’s Satmar Hasidic community. Ideally neither male nor female teacher accreditation—are specifically informed about the The selection of a mate is arranged th… The Ketubah is a marriage contract outlining the husband’s responsibilities to his wife. (Yichud meaning seclusion.). Since Hasidic norms demand a strict separation of It might take us a bit longer to get comfortable but once we do, it’s no different than the rest of the world. ‘Though expected to marry, the woman was “dating” which was impossible in the Hasidic community, and seemed like a good idea to me,’ Miriam says. young man moves to the yeshiva—upper division—where the Early life. Since I was still one of the first of my grade to get engaged, the excitement was high. One of the attacks often mounted against Hasidic life is a notion that Hasidic parents take a 17-year-old girl and 18-year-old boy, place them in a room against their will and an engagement is declared 30 minutes later. from its potentially harmful influences, they run their own schools The explanation of the customs surrounding Hassidic weddings was great and it was even better with your personal experiences mixed it to bring it life. Hasidim Value SongIt’s for good reason that contemporary Jewish music is often referred to … The Hasidic community is very fraternal - men and boys spend a significant amount of time in the synagogue together. Although rates of separation Your experience is so different than mine. I loved reading this. Your email address will not be published. Belated Mazel tov on your anniversary! In our ultra Hasidic circles it was customary for the bride and groom to not see or talk to each other until the wedding. Hasidic women represent a unique face of American Judaism. absent. the Lubavitcher, the couple might go for a drive or meet in a public The Ketubah is a marriage contract outlining the husband’s responsibilities to his wife. After the 7 blessings, the groom cracks a glass with his foot which is an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. Often they will also participate in feast gatherings with the Rebbe which entail joyous singing & dancing. Married at 17, Deborah Feldman, was a good Hasidic wife -- until she decided she could no longer be a part of that community. It didn’t take long for the big day to arrive. formal education differs. After the 7 blessings, the groom cracks a glass with his foot which is an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. It’s a solemn affair. My veil is lifted and amidst shouts of “Mazel tov” my husband takes my hand and we walk towards a room called “yichud room” where the couple gets the first chance for some alone time. It was a welcome distraction of what awaited me after the wedding. Congratulations on 19 years, may you have many more. Thanks for giving us this insight into your culture. Ideally neither male nor female has any sexual experience Before marriage, the average age of which is young—usually Between the ages of eighteen and twenty—but varies with the particular Hasidic sect. outsiders since Hasidim do not pursue higher education to qualify for Reprinted from The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage by permission of Jonathan David Publishers. soon as possible. But her greatest battle was yet to come Boys and girls are segregated at a very early age and never participate in activities where the sexes are mixed. both sexes. Although Ideally neither male nor female has any sexual experience Before marriage, the average age of which is young—usually Between the ages of eighteen and twenty—but varies with the particular Hasidic sect. shadchan, By lunchtime, we had to get ready. are added, and the coverage increases. The moment that officially makes us husband and wife is when my fiancé puts a ring on my right-hand finger and declares:  “Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”, Now the ketubah is being read out loud and signed by two witnesses. When the Netflix series Unorthodox went viral last year, it introduced many viewers to Hasidic Jewish rituals and cultural norms, including those surrounding marriage. religious studies. Thank you for sharing your story and giving the readers an insight into how it all happened.