myself and Him and gained a tremendous amount of strength and ability from After all, if he still has this level of anxiety how much use was all that therapy. If your anxiety is significantly impacting your life and/or relationships, don’t try to white-knuckle it on your own. It comes with its own array of symptoms. Which in return validates to my family the few hours I spend staring at a computer screen in a day . This post may contain affiliate links. But some people have no outward signs of anxiety—and yet they are white-knuckling their way through life living the ‘never let them see you sweat’ mantra. I suffer Anxiety and Social Anxiety lately has been kicking my but leaving scared and with headaches. jumped in bed and covered up my head and laid there gyrating until I finally 1. adjective, slang Of, indicating, or causing intense fear, anxiety, or stress. Sonia Motwani Guess what…. taking care of a kid, trying to enjoy a dinner out or a movie or…..anything while I think there might be one short escalator in town at the mall? And it took me WAY too long to realize that. Think about the actual phrase “white knuckling”: by definition, it means to do something that causes you to experience very strong feelings of fear, anxiety, and or nervousness. need to go to the emergency room with toddler in tow, we would just wait and go See Disclosure for more info.Negativity I’m guilty of letting […], Contact, Faith, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Miscarriage, Relationships, This post may contain affiliate links. 2:22 am. April 16, 2019 @ Anxiety is feeling trapped. I noticed as I was placing my foot on the stairs, what the railing felt like, and what my body felt like while I was along for the ride. 3:10 am. However, they are tense, maybe holding on tightly to the cart, pretending to be somewhere they’re not. I actually quite enjoy it now! Think riding a scary roller coaster ride while clenching on the railings waiting for that experience to be over. I remember being 19 at work and hearing all these grown women around the breakroom table talking about panic attacks and paper bags and crying in closets. other people and you don’t trust yourself. I never experienced anything like what they were talking about. 6:25 pm. days for granted. When we envision anxiety, we usually think of someone who worries a lot, has regular panic attacks, or who is obsessive-compulsive. Once when visiting Washington D.C., I had a difficult time on an escalator. Even though I adjective, slang Of, indicating, or causing intense fear, anxiety, or stress. If you suffer from any level of anxiety, then you and I are very similar. White knuckling through anxiety. God has shown his favor to me and awarded me a break to stay at home and focus on what I need. I held onto the rail for dear life, while people jostled into me trying to make it quickly to the bottom. every day. Years later, I started training in trauma therapy, and began to learn about avoidance, phobias and the things that contribute to anxiety. You put a lot of effort into this! See Disclosure for more info.Dear Broken Girl, You are […], This post may contain affiliate links. Much love. sugar and who knows what else. drunk, dreamy feeling. 78% of primary school leaders surveyed believed that the increasing rate of anxiety, panic attacks and stress in young people is due to specifically the fear of failing exams. You will long for a place that you can get relief but no matter where or It was a bit of a white-knuckle moment when the truck came so close to us on the highway. Great post ✊Everybody goes through something. passed out. When you’re ready, a therapist can help you slowly face your own fears! I learned to trust Anxiety is what happens when you feel out of control. Required fields are marked *. I quit beating myself up. Which in return validates to my family the few hours I spend staring at a computer screen in a day . I was so I always felt like a “nutjob” as a young adult because I didn’t have a word to describe my feelings of panic, sweaty palms, fear of crowds of unfamiliar faces, etc. However, I would still get a pretty strong surge of fear and adrenaline on the first step (definitely the scariest part)! I require a slower pace in life. Everything has a scary spin to it - staff meetings at work, lunch with friends, or taking a trip. So, they make themselves go. Like if you wave a magic wand and could fix something in your life….what would it be? Jesus didn’t die on the cross for us to tell others they aren’t doing this Christian thing right. Every. “Many people are walking around with extremely high levels of anxiety that are near meeting the criteria for anxiety disorders, but they’re white-knuckling their way through it,” adds Debra Kissen, PhD, co-chair of the public education committee for the Anxiety … There should NOT be a stigma around them that keeps people like me white knuckling through their lives. Mental Health ... Feelings of anxiety and fear dissipate, getting replaced with peace and love. Emily I do believe in spiritual warfare and I do rebuke those feelings when I have them, but I do not feel it is right to tell other Christians they are doing it wrong. Because if I did then I would have faith, peace, trust and reassurance, Close. God is funny that way. Literally, I was sitting chilling at home, But you didn’t talk about it…geez! #exposure #in-vivo exposure #exposure therapy #escalator phobia. I have been waking anxious and at night it gets worse. I am glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for reading. ekgs, and a whole slew of other test. However, they are not fully experiencing it. Your email address will not be published. Simply put, I was miserable. trying to help me figure out what was going on and convinced me that we didn’t The myths around stress begin at the eleven plus stage of exams. Not giving up on or the surrounding Mid-Missouri area, you might know my struggle here. The tools are not working. Inspiration, Life, Mental Health, Relationships, This post may contain affiliate links. On today's podcast I want to talk with you about the dangers of "white knuckling it" when it comes to facing your fears fears and triggers, and share with you an alternative process that will help. I had my own business for a ... of anxiety and that just trying to concentrate on reading this book is an enormous challenge. Since you are “white-knuckling” it through life and stuffing down anxious and worried feelings, you could be impacting your mental and physical health in the process. It reminded me of a scene out of those Divergent books — like a trip the Dauntless might take. Your email address will not be published. Day! I know that he used my anxiety to bring me to him and make me stronger. I turned 48 this year and have been the life of the party since I was 16. Then here comes Generalized yourself is crucial! God equipped me with the endurance and strength to pull myself out. It was a bit of a white-knuckle moment when the truck came so close to us on the highway. ... Anxiety? That lead to staying at home a lot! At 66 it still comes up at times. Our counseling office is physically located in Columbia, MO but we are able to see clients anywhere in Missouri with our online therapy services. tapper down off of some of the prescriptions. Emily thanks for reaching out. Stop white knuckling your life and unclench your fist and live again! Then this really neat thing happens when you For example, ... 2 thoughts on “ White Knuckling ” Kimberly Gerling. August 27, 2020 @ 1:20 am. White knuckling. I try to keep my mind busy but most times it doesn’t help I need alternatives I feel that I can’t even breath. When we envision anxiety, we usually think of someone who worries a lot, has regular panic attacks, or who is obsessive-compulsive. Hormones are a huge factor, and they definitely are for me. It is not biased. ... Anxiety does not have to be the new normal in your life in 2021. It won’t happen. It Amy By purchasing a product through an affiliate link, I make a small commission – at no cost to you. I continue to seek the guidance of God and pray for a relief from my anxiety. It was just me being weird. I decided it was hypocritical to teach my clients to face their fears while I had a phobia I was entirely avoiding. After white-knuckling though 23 years of incapacitating anxiety, I finally sacked up and got help. I wish you much peace and comfort and if you need to talk please don’t hesitate. You’re going to get through this. Because if I did then I would have faith, peace, trust and reassurance, never feel alone and none of this would be happening. Reply. Not, I quickly add, An Post, which comes out of this particular tale of worry smelling of roses. Thankyou so much for writing this. Now depression… that is another story. He is taking care of himself using the tools he has on hand which is white knuckling it until he breaks. White-knuckle definition is - marked by, causing, or experiencing tense nervousness. Mostly because you don’t know what it is. Identifying what is going on is definitely a crucial first step. It made me dizzy and queasy. was just me alone with a toddler all day and part of the night all the time Not any other person, not just counselors, and not medicine. Sometimes it’s strange to think I was even afraid before. day that I don’t and I acknowledge the absence of them and do not take the good We feel like we are white-knuckling through life, surviving rather than thriving. anxiety? Health & Fitness → Exercise & Meditation. The next day we went to the doctor to have blood drawn, This post may contain affiliate links. After over a decade of knowing the ends and outs of my anxiety, I know how I can make it work for me. 5:57 pm. I listen to my body and I do what it needs me to do. April 16, 2019 @ Such an informative one, loved it. The only thing that came out of that was realizing that the stupid My father has always been a white-knuckle flyer. If you have any questions…don’t hesitate. time. From White Knuckling It to Letting Go. We can help you come up with a systematic plan to face your anxiety or trauma triggers to help free you from that anxiety. Meanwhile, on the rare occasion I was around escalators, I would take the stairs or elevator. Kari Alexander I thought it would be a short trip down these moving stairs to get to my train, but it turned out to be so long that I couldn’t see the bottom for what seemed like minutes! Something has to change in my life. We have physical bodies and sometimes they go haywire. By purchasing a product through an affiliate link, I make a small commission – at no cost to you. I don’t remember much more about that experience and I have no memory of getting to the bottom. I try to overcome it myself without the Medication but it’s becoming harder to do without. sweating and very nervous. For me it was a disorienting, floating, When I was experiencing my anxiety the worst there was something not resonating in my life. I now know what white knuckling means. If you’re from Columbia, Mo. what you just can’t. They might pretend to even be somewhere else the whole time. If you are missing white-knuckle stress, perhaps you might try the postal service. It works for me, and what gives me a purpose….my kids. If you are looking for  treatment for anxiety, trauma and PTSD, I encourage you to reach out and get help from a professional experienced in this area. Feeling lonely and disconnected? Leave a Comment Cancel Comment. I am MISERABLE!!! I sweated, shook, couldn't get my breath, my heart raced, I was dizzy, and I thought I was going to die. I usually stop close my eyes and do the breathing method you know inhale positivity, exhale negativity but sometimes it doesn’t work. encountered and I wish so badly they could have been different. Share on Facebook. the idea. Debra Kissen, PhD, Chair of the Public Education Committee for the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, illustrates this when saying, “Many people are walking around with extremely high levels of anxiety that are near meeting the criteria for anxiety disorders, but they’re white-knuckling their way through it. Who knew. 78% of primary school leaders surveyed believed that the increasing rate of anxiety, panic attacks and stress in young people is due to … It’s then we ask Christ to hold us and help us through. I had a Christian friend, who is no longer a friend, tell me I didn’t pray enough or rebuke Satan enough and that’s why I had panic issues. Physical symptoms? However, I believe it was the triggering event, sort of a mild trauma, that led to my escalator phobia. You are right faith can help a lot. I guess believing in yourself actually does have its So, it was time to face my escalators! By purchasing a product through an affiliate link, I make a small commission – at no cost to you. benefits…. Which in return validates to my family the few hours I spend staring at a computer screen in a day . My 20 year old daughter suffers with the anxiety and panic attacks. anxiety, depression, bi-polar, mood disorders, personality disorders, you get I do feel the white knuckling feeling you describe. much. A month later I was visiting my friends in Chicago and I made them take the escalator everywhere we went. Fortunately my colleague and owner of Aspire Counseling, Jessica Tappana, was often around at this event too to cheer me on, and she too understood the benefits of this intervention! Mine came like a thief in the night. However, each year I attended a state mental health conference, and the hosting hotel had one short escalator. “Some people will say that having anxiety contradicts the Christian life and believing in God and Jesus. He loves us and wants us to lean into him, but he knows there are going to be days that is going to be all we can manage. By purchasing a product through an affiliate link, I make a small commission – at no cost to you. Why i think i know better than an expert is that i have lived experience. Your fear doesn’t have to hold you back. April 5, 2019 @ One day at lunch while at Tan-Tar-A, I was telling this exact story, and a mentor of mine said, offhandedly, “Well are you white knuckling it?”. Taking a medication that makes you a better wife, mom, stepmom, person should be OKAY and not something that we need to keep hidden. My clients who’ve chosen to do their own in-vivo exposure have had similar rewarding experiences, claiming their life and freedom back. I could white-knuckle my way through anxiety and depression, and no one was the wiser. “Many people are walking around with extremely high levels of anxiety that are near meeting the criteria for anxiety disorders, but they’re white-knuckling … I remember several times getting away and saying a prayer and almost instantly feeling some relief. I sat staring at […], Javier s. I wish you the best. I was But, they still have to go to the grocery store, often at busy times. ... or academically prestigious schools. never feel alone and none of this would be happening. My father has always been a white-knuckle flyer. Just like everyone, I go through highs and lows. Anxieties friend….Agoraphobia. My God-given gifts and talents look much different than some other people’s. there of mental illness. I got seriously freaked out, wondering if I was going to make it to the bottom without passing out or falling. Some people will say that having anxiety contradicts the What have you learned? Thank you so much for sharing this. They go in, have a list, and get out. The anxiety I deal with (I try not to ever say MY anxiety, but sometimes I still do) is partially physical from thyroid and hormone issues, so I never say that it is all in my head. I really don’t know how I survived it. Not white knuckling it but really enjoying myself. 62. I just didn’t get it. April 16, 2019 @ My son absolutely loves those white-knuckle roller coaster rides, but I have no stomach for them! I just can’t achieve what some people can achieve, and isn’t that okay? I get you the struggle is real. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. I was young and dumb then and didn’t question So okay, we have a solution just 2:21 pm. Over a couple of years of this practice, I got my phobia down to about 25% strength, so mostly improved. I HATE being another statistic! Brenda November 29, 2019 @ My son absolutely loves those white-knuckle roller coaster rides, but I have no stomach for them! 10. exacerbate the symptoms even more. I completely quite trusting my body and that caused more anxiety. I actually saw Claudia’s TED talk while I was not drinking in an earlier attempt to quit so I didn’t pursue TSM at that point. sober09 01/30/2021. with a dramatic panic attack story. Some of us experience anxiety as a shadow that follows us around all day. And … I feel very blessed to have been shown this. By Matt Rosenman. White Knuckling: A Dangerous Lifestyle. Like literally Anxiety worked against me. April 17, 2019 @ to the doctor first thing in the morning. Anybody else trying to white knuckle it through Negative self-fulfilling prophecies? I remember feeling like I had to monitor everything just to maintain some sort of homeostasis and feel somewhat okay. However it was the more personal approach of your video that connected with me. So there wasn’t much opportunity for my in-vivo exposure. I wish I could say that helped but Amy No break, no chance to catch Yes, I was judgy bratty punk back then. Panick if I’m alone and I get an anxiety attack, or if I’m at the grocery store and theirs too many people I start to feel dizzy and anxious. I disagree in part here. I know that he used my anxiety to bring me to him and make me stronger. I am not a corporate go-getter, multitasker, jump out of a plane (or get on a plane for that matter) type of person. Home Our Therapists Rates Contact Us, Counseling for Survivors of Sexual Assault. Those years are some of the scariest years I have ever Archived. haven’t had a full on panic attack in a while I am still thankful every single I have more confidence in myself now. Amy As my training progressed, my new skills included classes on in-vivo exposure, which is a structured way of facing your fears gradually in your everyday life. She is currently trying to white knuckle it and I’m encouraging her to go to a therapist. This was now my life. having that feeling. Which in return validates to my family the few hours I spend staring at a computer screen in a day . Reading your story helps me to understand how she’s feeling a little more. Very depressed, emotional , full of anxiety and angry. Losing sight of who you are or what your purpose is? doctor had me on conflicting medication for thyroid, weightloss, hormones, blood Therapy, learning to trust yourself and your body,and doing what YOU need to do when you go through anxiety makes a world of difference. ”. Needless to say, that friend and I don’t talk much anymore and I honestly stay away from telling too many in the church about my issues for that reason. it didn’t. enjoying my relaxation time and my heart started racing and I was shaking and From Our Community | Living. Now that I know, I am always looking for different outlets and coping mechanisms and I am so much more connected to my beliefs and my faith. Single. Anxiety accompanied me to restaurants, Are you looking for someone to help you face the fears holding you back in life? if you can’t make the panic attacks stop at least you can not have them in See more. This is very informative!! April 16, 2019 @ wouldn’t trust a doctor or prescription to save my life. Brenda, I totally can relate. Looking back, Anxiety is what happens when you can’t trust Aren’t we all supposed to be different? Once anxiety is triggered it is so hard to get it to stop. In fact, they are programming their body to be more and more afraid, and reinforcing a physical fear of the store, which now feels much like a war zone to their fight/flight/freeze system. So I white knuckled it….hard….for a long I would wake up in the morning, wait for it to set in, and then try to “white-knuckle” it through my days. And yes, anxiety does have those symptoms. It I figured my benzbros would appreciate. 2:20 am. Everywhere you turn there is someone with And I know without Jesus I couldn’t have recognized this on my own. Your trust in Christ’s sovereign peace over your life can change that. forgiving toddler. In addition, I have my own practice as well at The Counseling Palette. Posted by 2 years ago. April 16, 2019 @ During that time I wasn’t as strong in my faith nearly like I am now and I know that if I wouldn’t have experienced that I never would have leaned on God like that. By purchasing a product through an affiliate link, I make a small commission – at no cost to you. But my son called me out on it. A 2020 Newsletter: A Personal Reflection of Personal Trials in 2020. “White knuckle sobriety” refers to the practice of desperately holding onto sobriety without working a recovery program. Folks let me tell you…. So obsessively, I would ride the escalator one floor up and down, any chance I got. This is a stage in the UK where children moving from primary school to secondary school take a test to get into more exclusive or academically prestigious schools. And yes, anxiety does have those symptoms. I kept thinking that I should be able to control my symptoms just by using my will power. I describe white knuckling to clients like this: For example, many people with PTSD struggle with crowds. church, parties, my kid’s school, the park, everywhere! relief and the ability to make it through another day. White-knuckle definition, causing fear, apprehension, or panic: The plane made a white-knuckle approach to the fogged-in airport. I have been sober for 11 yrs. of me helped a lot as well as expectations I had in other people. The hubby was When an alcoholic is "sober" from alcohol without attending a mutual-help program, therapy, medication management and/or treatment then they are in a sense "white-knuckling… I can’t even yell at the kids because I feel it coming so I have to keep calm at all times. My 5 Tips for Alleviating Anxiety. Choose trust in Jesus’ sovereign grace and peace over your life. So for the next day, I rode the escalator mindfully. Other times, everything is a wreck—you’re stressed, exhausted, unhealthy, unbal She eventually developed her own panic attacks and said it was spiritual attack. I describe white knuckling to clients like this: For example, many people with PTSD struggle with crowds. So I went to bed. Lisa R. Howeler See your doctor, to assess whether your anxiety might have a … There is a smorgasbord out We turned the car off and made a B-line to the first store for some safety. Try driving, I believe that mental illnesses like anxiety are real and they are illnesses. God is funny that way. Sometimes life is smooth and steady—you have a perfect balance of challenge and comfort, you’re relationships are solid and your mental and physical health is in a groove. This was the kind of intense, free-floating anxiety that made my mind race, my heart beat fast and my whole body tense up. my breath, no one to help. When I went back to the escalator after lunch, I realized this was quite possibly why I couldn’t quite get my phobia kicked. April 4, 2019 @ Are you "white knuckling" through life? took away my ability to be present as a mom, wife, employee. By the end of that conference, following this brief mindful exposure, my phobia was 100% gone. I didn’t believe it. "Anxiety Hell" The feeling of being out of control overwhelmed me. Girl, you have to figure out what that is. But some people have no outward signs of anxiety—and yet they are white-knuckling their way through life living the ‘never let them see you sweat’ mantra. I also started offering this technique to clients, and the effects were life changing. The first thing you must know is that it’s going to be okay! Generalized Anxiety, Mental Health, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety days I can recall sitting in the corner just reading my Bible praying for munchin, watching tv, right after putting my then 2-year-old son in bed. See Disclosure for more info. Amy I absolutely agree…. With high functioning anxiety, you’ll experience some of the symptoms of general anxiety disorder, but at what is considered a subclinical level. Thank you for sharing your story. Letting go of expectations that everyone had How to use white-knuckle in a sentence. Amy At this point I am already petrified of medicine and Because There are My name is Jennie Bedsworth and I am one of the  trauma and anxiety therapists at Aspire Counseling (where my friend Jessica is the owner). Fast forward about 4 years and I could now raise my hand Despite having so much to feel positively about, there have been times I’ve allowed the anxiety of venturing outside my comfort zone to cause me to think in terms of “getting through it”. a lot of anxiety comes from all the things that can go wrong in our bodies and gets everything out of whack, especially for me. 10:24 pm. Try your best to change that part of your life if you can. (This avoidance was protecting me, and made sense, but it also made my fear worse over time.). Amy Mental Health Generalized Anxiety, Mental Health, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety 10. 6:53 pm. I was still avoiding a little. It sucks! keep having panic attacks and that is called generalized anxiety disorder. Christian life and believing in God and Jesus. I haven't been to a meeting in about 7 yrs. Many programs stress the impossibility of maintaining sobriety by sheer force of will, but there are some—few and far between—who are able to for some time. I didn’t have the luxury to just go to bed and that seemed to See Disclosure for more info. Glad I could give some insight. White knuckling the steering wheel, I managed to get off on an exit by the grace of God and pulled into a shopping center. I’ve never had any intervention work more quickly or effective for so many clients than in-vivo exposure. I’ve touched on this on my blog as well. Not having answers to these questions often drives more anxiety. scared something bad was happening and that I was going to die! But, they still have to go to the grocery store, often at … I thought wow what a way to get attention. This was not the occasional nervousness about a presentation or first date. public where they are triggered even more. This part really hit home for me. Looking back, it became a blessing because I know that I am WAY stronger than I ever thought I could be. After white-knuckling though 23 years of incapacitating anxiety, I finally sacked up and got help. 7:40 am. Lisa, But I made it through just me and God and a those days. Technically, they are facing their fears by going to the store. And it’s a proud symbol of triumph over my fears. At the time I felt so cornered and scared.